How to avoid an average life

Turn off the TV that is step 1.

How to live an average life

1. Watch TV. Spend countless hours watching television. Aim for at least 3-4 hours a day. Maybe one in the morning and definitely once you get home from work. 
2. Watch the News. News = fear. The more we let fear control us, the more average our life will be. That's why we watch the news. The news is our fear. When we start feeling confident and secure, just make sure to go to CNN and Fox to feel worse. 
3. Don't read books. Books? I stopped learning after College. I definitely won't be reading non fiction books. Everyone knows self help is a scam. I can't possibly improve. 
4. Wait until the New Year to create goals. Everyone knows this. Goals are only to be made as New Years Resolutions. It doesn't matter that the last 20 times I created them, they all failed. This year is different. 
5. No discipline. My word means nothing. It's less responsibility. I can do the important tasks, tomorrow. Why stress over it? I'd rather feel the pain of regret. 
6. Think you are special. I'm a special snowflake. My mom told me it and she knows better than everyone. 
7. Go on diets. Summer is coming! Might as well start this new fat blaster diet. It doesn't matter what I eat as long as I'm dieting. 
8. Hate Mondays. Ugh, Mondays are the worst. Back to work at the job I hate. The weekend is so far away! Sucks.